For anyone else wondering (I assume that this particular problem scenario has long since been solved):

The best procedure for disassembling a rods-and-ring softbox such as the one depicted here is to start with the box open-end down on the floor, exactly as in the picture. Press downward on the speedring. That will straighten the rods within the holes. It will still take some strength to remove the first rod, since you have to bend the rod even more to get it out of the hole. The second and subsequent rods should take less force to remove since the box fabric will have some give to it once the first rod is out of the way.

(This, by the way, is why I vastly prefer folding softboxes, like the Elinchrom Rotalux line, to the traditional rods-and-ring designs. Yes, you need to have the equivalent of a speedring for each of the boxes, making them slightly more expensive, but setup and tear-down is much quicker and easier.)